Conquering My Fears in Costa Rica

I have never in my life considered myself to be an athletic person. I was always picked last in gym class (people would seriously groan when I had to be on their team). As a result, I had horrible self esteem and in order to protect myself, I would pretend I was ‘too cool’ to participate. I have used this tactic to hinder myself throughout my life and I never recognized it until after I learned to surf.

In fact, I have always been uneasy about letting the people I love, especially those who I date, teach me anything. Letting someone in is so intimate, and it makes me feel uneasy and vulnerable. I am a perfectionist by nature, so if I can’t do it perfectly, I won’t do it at all. I shudder to think now about all of the past opportunities I’ve missed because of my stubborn insecurities. But with Shannon it’s different. It always is with her.

I shudder to think now about all of the past opportunities I’ve missed because of my stubborn insecurities.

Growing up in San Diego, Shannon has been a surfer the majority of her life. In fact, she earned a living one summer teaching surf lessons for a surf school. Surfing a family tradition for her.

After a brief lesson on the shore covering how to paddle, I was in the water and ready to give it a go. I paddled out in the warm water of the Pacific Ocean, with Shannon at the front of the board to break the waves in order to make it easier on my arms. before I knew it, the board was turned around and she was yelling over the waves for me to paddle.

Conquering My Fears in Costa Rica

I lifted my chest into the air and dug my arms into the water, pushing myself forward until I heard her yell “up-up!” I pushed my hand down on the board and popped right up onto my feet, and then I rode that wave all the way into the sand. It was an amazing feeling, gliding over the water. I felt empowered knowing I could conquer my inhibitions and allow myself to experience something new.

I never thought twice about the fact that I could, in fact, be an athletic person if I wanted to. Not just an athletic person, but that I could excel in whatever I wanted to if I put my mind to it.

The world is ever changing, and I hope to be open to the changes life brings everyday.

I know I have a long way to go before I’m the woman I want to be. I have a lot of demons to defeat and fears to conquer, but I will remember this lesson for as long as I live. I can be who and what I want, and I can change how I look at myself and what I believe about myself and the world. I do not have to be stuck with the same thoughts for the rest of my life. The world is ever changing, and I hope to be open to the changes life brings everyday.

Photo by Cammy Enete.