What It’s Like to Be a Woman in Tanzania

March 25, 2015
What It’s Like to Be a Woman in Tanzania

One of the biggest struggles a woman in Tanzania faces is living with the cultural attitudes towards women. As a strong, independent, educated young woman who is known for being blunt and for always speaking her mind, dealing with the attitude towards women here has been difficult.

Take that young woman and place her into a culture that believes that the opinion of women is probably wrong and always to be ignored, and fireworks explode on the inside. I have had to make a number of changes in the way I would normally go about my daily life. I have learned to bite my tongue, to accept when my opinion is ignored, and to date in a completely different way.

What It’s Like to Be a Woman in Tanzania

I am a feminist—I believe in the equality of men and women, and in equality for every person. Most of the locals here have never heard the word feminist, and culturally the concept is foreign to them. While the men here are in many ways Westernised, they have no acceptance of the concept of equality. Everyday situations arise where my mind is screaming that I should be shown some respect, but I understand that I have chosen to be here and it is not my place to try and alter the cultures and traditions.

If she cannot carry a baby to term the danger is not only that her husband will leave her, but also her whole family and her friends might ostracize her.

Standing up for what I believe in often makes me the ‘crazy white woman’—a title I accept if it means that I am not being tricked into paying inflated prices or buying into corruption. Day to day living though requires tongue biting, and not making a scene.

What It’s Like to Be a Woman in Tanzania

I have been here for three years now, and I have found it much more difficult to make local female friends than male. I think one of the reasons is that I meet fewer local women than men. They are not running schools or orphanages, or in fact businesses in general, so I meet fewer and rarely have an opportunity to socialise with them. The attitude of many I have met see us all as disrespectful white women, who won’t be here for long.

It is acceptable for men to cheat, but completely unacceptable for women.

It is also seen as a women’s job to successfully carry children. A young woman with whom I worked has miscarried four children. She is so scared that she is unable to do her ‘duty’ and her husband will leave her. If she cannot carry a baby to term the danger is not only that her husband will leave her, but also her whole family and her friends might ostracize her. Nothing anyone can say or do will help her with this.

What It’s Like to Be a Woman in Tanzania

What It’s Like to Be a Woman in Tanzania

Most Tanzanian men have several girlfriends—and the married ones, several wives. Cheating in their relationships is an everyday occurrence. It is acceptable for men to cheat, but completely unacceptable for women. In most cases, this is how it works here. In the cross cultural relationships I have witnessed here, or been a part of, trust is a significant issue. That and the fact that women in Tanzania should not question what her man chooses to tell her—to do so is to show disrespect.

It is difficult to reconcile the woman you are, with the woman you need to be to survive. It is a steep learning curve—knowing when to stand up for yourself, and when to let it go.

The culture here reminds me of western culture sixty or more years ago, when women rarely working outside the home. They cooked and cleaned, while the men took care of business. So it is here—for the most part.

A woman coming to Africa needs to be ready for this piece of culture. It is difficult to reconcile the woman you are, with the woman you need to be to survive. It is a steep learning curve—knowing when to stand up for yourself, and when to let it go. I am grateful for technology, and the ability to stay in contact with the women in my other life at home. Without having them there, I would find it difficult to survive here.

This is What It’s Like to Be a Woman in Tanzania

Related Reading

Romance, Health, and Safety in Zanzibar: A Conversation with Katrina Marks

Have you traveled to Tanzania? What were you impressions? Email us at [email protected] for information about sharing your experience with the Pink Pangea community. We can’t wait to hear from you.

This is What It’s Like to Be a Woman in Tanzania.


 

About Jesse Whitman

Jesse Whitman is a native of West Virginia. Her humor essays have been featured in Blitz Weekly, Funny Times, and Curve Magazine. She is working on her next volume of Prude and Prejudice.

16 thoughts on “What It’s Like to Be a Woman in Tanzania

  1. Judith Lazak
    February 10, 2024
    Reply

    Dear Jill, I don’t think it’s a typical white person’s article. It’s sad and disrespectful what happens to women here in TZ. To speak it out loud is just the right way. Do you believe a human being should be treated that way? It’s sad that it’s necessary having organizations here that have to defend women’s rights! Each human should have the same rights to speak their mind and be respected

  2. keith
    August 11, 2023
    Reply

    Jill that is just the liberals and some Christians. Conservatives usually will let locals live their own culture without interfering, but those liberals are out of control.

  3. Jill
    October 22, 2020
    Reply

    I found this article so typical of white people who travel around the world thinking that they know what is best and right for everyone…sad and disrespectful on so many levels.

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